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ramblings of a teenage boy

{/fetishes --

fantasies of a teenage boy

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things to come true

It's like 2:15am




Working my way backwards from the front of the back..
Whatever that's supposed to mean..

anyways.. today We Were SUPPOSED to present in DIC class.. GRR
stupid presentation got cancelled cox another group cut our Queue..
Sucks to be Group 3.. if we were just ONE number closer to the front... ARGH!!! DAMMIT!!!

oh well.. now we have to probably wait another two weeks before we actually present.. sigh... I wanna get it off my chest... FAST!! there's so much to do and as each week goes by there's going to be more and more information being unleashed about my chosen graphic artist.. so i gotta step it up.. I've got to really.. feel like I AM BRODY!!!

I AM BRODY
I AM BRODY
I AM GROCY
??

I AM GROCY!?

WTF LOL

hahahhahah i seriously typed that out by mistake but i lioke peanut butter spread so I'll keep the post that way.. HAHAHAHA

tomorrow MUST try ICE CHOCOLATE!!! HUU HUU!!!

and last but not least.. I need to come up with a not only nice .. BUT GOOD AWESOME AMAZKING NEVER THOUGHT UP BEFORE ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN!!!

and do it FAST!!!

sigh......

sniff sniff

V'ZeuLKiD

PS.. still Lonely Only.. but thank you Aiman.. you've been too kind... God Bless...=]

WOW.. POST no. 254.. how random.. ok.. so anyways.. Had a chat wit m ex today.. bout stuff... wondering why I'm still contactin ? well I did say this and I want to blog it here so that at least I won't have to save the msg from being deleted from my phone..

Scenario: The Day he Confessed to me About already Having a BF
Regarding: His Problems and our status from that day onwards...
My last Msg to him That Day:

"Don't worry at all... I'm serious... But I'm also serious about being truthful... Honesty may not be your best policy but it sure as hell feels better than bottling it up... I think you deserve friends around you because it's your kind of nature that you need someone to be there for you... I'm not a pzychoterapist that's going to perscribe you treatment because there's none for disappointment or ignorance from attention but I can offer you friendship and an ear...

And if it would help lighten your shoulder.

I forgive you.. :]

there Fuuuh!"


ya I added that last part too.. hahahz

Well atleast now I feel more relieved that we didn't go thru with it.. the fact that there was alot on your mind to begin with and that you are just confused and floating around... I always believed that Bis can be different.. and.. I won't give up... for some reason I'm just been attracted to bis.. NOT ON PURPOSE.. it's like it's just connection and chemistry.. 1st Ex = bi.. 2nd also Bi.. third was gay and now 4th is Bi.. well So much so.. I think that I shall not comment on all this I know there are some of you here that don't care to hear about this other world or get associated with it... but it's not as cold as it sounds... or evil either.. you get to meet a person every once in a blue moon that will change your life.. someone that sets themselves as a model.. and you'd idolise and learn to be like them because they are good role models to follow.. and its not ALL about sex either...

Popular to misconception.. two holes and two dongs don't go together right? .. well Then ever think about two hearts.. two thoughts.. two souls... there are deeper things in between the lines...

OK MOVING ON(don't wanna sound like I'm preaching to recruit more AJs) lol

anyways..

As for today I did my usualy two pronged dance team trainig.. I feeel a bit more confident today.. taugh Shiva the steps and met up with Fawid.. we had a 3-man practice today.. WOW.. I'm starting to get really demotivated.. i wonder how I can block out the frustration from not having the entire 8 man team down for performance... WHAT IS GOING ON!... C'mon people.. Let's Work together on this one Aite!!

and then straight away after that I rushed off to go catch Fad Faction in ACTION!.. Today was Choreo day and I truthfully Didn't have any choreo.. except for bits in my head and the Song I wanted to do.... other than that.. I still managed to score a B for the choreo.. WOW im impressed.. although I didn't do so well.. but I was stilll quite Shocked.. like WHUT!!! a B!~..

its so impromptu.. wht the SaK!~...


ok anyways.. CHINAMEN DIES!!! BRA I'm Gonna Kill YA!!!

TAK BOON.... (BRA's retarded Face)

hahahahahaahahhahaa

ok sooooooo

After practice and discussion about upcoming Dance Comp... I want to enter the Tee Design Segment.. Under Freelance... and I want to do something COOL!~~

hehehe Sketches Sketches here I COME!

Next.. Ran off immediately after Practice to go to Craig's Place for Dinner.. We ate Satay.. and Some Chicken Kebab style thing.. and I had MILO!!! again! -__-..

I think my blood is 75% Milo by now.. hahaahaa

Ya and so I met my aunt from aussie who's down for a while she'll be visiting people whilst on a "work Holiday"... and she gave me HOME MADE DESSERT!!! and as well as TIRAMISU CANDY AND EASTER EGGS!!! WOHOOO~

I got my sugar boost for the rest of the nite.. Imma be trippin.. hahakz

got lots of Stuff to get down by tomorrow.. that includes PPT! - Design In Conetxt... Website - Digital Media... Recipe BOOK POP & Poster - Design Drawing

But Before that I need my cup of COKE!!! and its right there..

gulp
gulp
gulp
gulp

momentary silence~!

AHHHHHHHH!~~

nice!!...'


ok Imm OFF!!!

V'ZeuLKiD

PS We're all After the Same Rainbow's End .. Waiting Round the Bend.. My Huckleberry Friend

Well I re-read my posts and I realised that I am so Emo..

But my feelings still stay..
Cox I am an Emotional person..
and I would really pity people whom have to deal with someone like me
Cox for the matter of fact that they would have to be able to withstand my occassional mood swings..

yes this is occassional.. I know it may seem like it's frequent but if you check the dates of which i Blog you would realise that I only blog when I start to feel compelled towards a certain emotion.. and usually that emotion is sadness... well simply put you have to suffer a whole lot before you enjoy happiness..

I just hope that my happiness is coming really really soon.. where is my rainbow?

http://www.lshs64.com/enjoytheride.html (this kinda made my Good Friday better)

You're very Welcome Aiman.. I really enjoyed the show I was so absorbed into it..
The storyline.. the dance.. the lighting and staging effects..
Even the cultural parts.. which I soo don't normally enjoy..

And no problem.. call me when you guys need help backstage or whatever.. I really miss being in the theatre.. Oh those days of past..

hahahakz

I wish I could be back in Sec school in the Drama club.. ELDDS for my time.. and react all my scenes as a father... as a tyrant.. as a director...

As many other things.. haiz.. life just has to pass us by you know.. I feel like an old man of 80 sitting in his rocking chair and reminiscing.. OK enoughs enough..

I gotta go finish up My Design Drawing and Digital Media Projects..

So to whomever's reading this ermm.. rigght.. thankz.. hahkz

V'ZeuLKiD

Ps.. Good luck to all the Grads for your Grad Shows.. ok.. WORK HARD!!! and ALL THE LUCK from Greggy!! Although I'm not so lucky these days haha..

If I ever come up with a brand Name it'd be the name of my title ..

I felt rejected today..
No I feel rejected everyday...

I feel like whevever I go people are right behind me criticisizing the way I dress..
the way I walk..
the way I eat..
the way I talk..
the way I laugh..
the way I just present myself..

And it's finally taken it's toll on me today..
I was the last person to leave class today..
carrying with me my feelings of regret and rejection on my advertising class..
I felt my thoughts echo in my head in my surroundings.. just encompassing me with thoughts of death and dread..
I just wanted to go somewhere quiet..

Where I know nobody..
and just..
die..
die there in solace..

Cox i don't feel like living right now..
in this moment..
in this time..

It's like Jei's Suicide Poster..

I feel like commiting the worst kind of suicide..
Mental Suicide..

and just stop thinking altogether and be a inanimate vegetable..

I don't feel like dancing for the rest of the week..
I haven't done any of my homework to my satisfaction neither have i Done the Fad Homework..

and Neither have I done any thinking for dance..I want to help out farid but In my other mind for dance I think farid is a burden to me.. and he's not.. but my stupid brain is trying to put blame on others.. I HATE BLAME..

I thought this up before.. Blame is an excuse to be Lame.. as Fault will make someone Fall...

these two things should've never Existed...
As how I feel right now...

I'm off to binge till I can have enough energy to cry myself to sleep..

V'ZeuLKiD

PS Why can't I just find someone to be there for me.. why?
amIdestinedtobe

Lonely

The Old the New and the Something Blue!!

What's old?
-I met muiz Today

The New?
-Muiz's BF

Something Blue?
-Met my Ex too

hahakz.. he was caring something Blue.. If I'm not wrong..

Anyways.. Mirul, Muiz & Aidil met up with me today for some catchin up.. I was shy to talk because I had just met Aidil and Vice Versa... And whatsmore it's been ages since i met Mirul.. So I don't knw how to converse with him... I can talk with exes no problem.. just that if I haven't talked to them in a while.. Like A LONG WHILE.. it's kinda wierd.. hahkz.. but anyways..

I passed Muiz my Borders Card the one that my aunt gave me 6 years ago but I didn't use hahah cox i just hadn't any idea what to use it for and sooo.. lalala.. I didn't use it in the end.. Since Muiz has been nothing but a good friend to me.. I just decided to give it to him and He is a Bookworm after all ahahaak...

Muiz YOUR LUCKY.. if only I could find someone like you have found.. either way he's a nice guy that was waiting for you.. How many guys out there actually wait.. Now I'm compelled to think I'm doing something wrong somewhere... Is there like a mark on my face or do I have BO or maybe it's just my long hair... what's the reason why I don't have guys chasing after me? hmm not that I want them to it's just that it would be nice to have someone want to see me and want to be there for me.. it's been so long since I had someone like that.. even if it was my own delusions to recent events.. I still haven't felt wanted and/or cared.. so I guess the major sadness in my life right now would be that I don't have that someone.. including friends that are like that.. cept for Rose but then again I'm looking for that feelin that can't come from a friend.. I'm lookin for that feelin' ...

That feelin...

V'ZeuLKiD

PS Someone save me from (dream)NIGHTMAREWEAVER!!!!

That's how i feel...

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