e
m
P
t
Y
Tried to take a picture; Of love
I wanna fill this new frame; But it's Empty

Grego, 19, Single
28 November 1989
Indian -- [Malayalam - Sinhalese]
Eurasian -- [Peranakan - French - Japanese]
NAFA, Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts
Visual Communication [Year 2]
He loves Dance
Hip hop. Contemporary. Locking. Reggae.
and Music
Pianist. Violinist. Recorder.(duh!)
But also a self-taught Remixer
His Passions also include
Photography
Doodling
Youtubing
Manga
Anime
Otaku-er
Enjoying Being a Dancer
from
ASC All Saintz Crew
& NDC Nafa Dance Club
He was definitely Born under a Star
of very good Fortune and Luck
as to the reason why
he's be given
a chance
to be
by
the most blessed
of Friends
Malays. Indonesians. Pinoys. Eurasians. Japanese. Thais. Mixed Races.
Gelato. Ice Lemon Tea. Soybean. Japanese Italian Turkish French Western Cuisine.
Adidas. Toki Doki. Body Glove. Skull Candy. Elements. Converse. TopMan.
Milk & Dark Chocolates. Imported Candies. Home Made Cookies & Cakes.
Animals. Stories & Fairytales. Final Fantasy. RPGs.
Friendship is my Ultimate Drug
O' School's Intermediate Hip Hop Classes
Sk8ter Shoes in PURPLE and GOLD
Modified Playstation Portable Slim/Lite in Deep Red/Lavender/Matte Bronze
SKULLCANDY Designer DJ Headphones
Final Fantasy Dissidia The Greatest Final Fantasy of All-Time
To Compile my Portfolio by 2009 End
GPA Average of above 3.5
I wanna fill this new frame; But it's Empty
{/profile --
ramblings of a teenage boy

Grego, 19, Single
28 November 1989
Indian -- [Malayalam - Sinhalese]
Eurasian -- [Peranakan - French - Japanese]
NAFA, Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts
Visual Communication [Year 2]
He loves Dance
Hip hop. Contemporary. Locking. Reggae.
and Music
Pianist. Violinist. Recorder.(duh!)
But also a self-taught Remixer
His Passions also include
Photography
Doodling
Youtubing
Manga
Anime
Otaku-er
Enjoying Being a Dancer
from
ASC All Saintz Crew
& NDC Nafa Dance Club
He was definitely Born under a Star
of very good Fortune and Luck
as to the reason why
he's be given
a chance
to be
by
the most blessed
of Friends
{/fetishes --
fantasies of a teenage boy
Malays. Indonesians. Pinoys. Eurasians. Japanese. Thais. Mixed Races.
Gelato. Ice Lemon Tea. Soybean. Japanese Italian Turkish French Western Cuisine.
Adidas. Toki Doki. Body Glove. Skull Candy. Elements. Converse. TopMan.
Milk & Dark Chocolates. Imported Candies. Home Made Cookies & Cakes.
Animals. Stories & Fairytales. Final Fantasy. RPGs.
Friendship is my Ultimate Drug
{/wishlist --
things to come true
O' School's Intermediate Hip Hop Classes
Sk8ter Shoes in PURPLE and GOLD
Modified Playstation Portable Slim/Lite in Deep Red/Lavender/Matte Bronze
SKULLCANDY Designer DJ Headphones
Final Fantasy Dissidia The Greatest Final Fantasy of All-Time
To Compile my Portfolio by 2009 End
GPA Average of above 3.5
Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty
Well well well..
It's going to occur all OVER again... hahkz
2008 is ending tonight at approximately 11:59:59:99 am... and it's that time of blog year again...
So what's happened this year.. so far ...
I've been in my Year 2 of Nafa in transition with ending of my Year 1 and I've met soo many new friends both local and internationally... I've made many new friendships but at the same time I've lost friends through some very tragic circumstances all I wish I never wished it'd happen ever...
but then Life has to go on and somethings will and can only get better... (I hope)
I've realised that this year, I've become someone that is more reserved in comparison with myself around my Secondary School Years Whence I'd make friends just by smiling at someone else... I'm not saying I'm a social dog or anything It's just that's how my charisma works around other people and I really really Liked it... the way it works...
I miss doing alot of things this year.. I can recall I was supposed to attend a lot of functions and funerals and parties and weddings and events and birthdays and I missed them.. and sadly enough Because of such things, It has led me to becoming someone that I despise the most ....
An Anti-Socialite that only sticks to the people he's comfortable with...
For the next year, I'm going to set a few resolutions in association as well with my personal wishlist and goals to set..
The Main one being..
To forge many more friendships, relationships and stronger ties with existing people...
I for some reason am still not very good on terms with my family but I wouldn't mind being more involved so I have to be a bit more initiative-oriented...
Amongst the things I want to change about myself for the better is that.. when I'm given a project, I want to set my own goals for reaching where I wanna go in the project and get it on my top priorities to finish so that I don't have to cause lots of problems for my lecturers, peers and myself most of all...
Not forgeting my extra activities, I want to be more firm with myself this year.. and train to obtain a level of which I can be satisfied with the fact and give myself a mind where I know I can strum forward to the beat of confidence... (hence I have saved up revenue to invest in dance lessons at O'school)
After which, I want to get involved with more personal home made projects that I can keep in my portfolio for design purposes and other extracts and OH YES.. I've got a brand new idea that I want to utilize before school reopens in terms of gift giving for friends this coming year.. It will also help in my portfolio... and I'm quite proud of the idea...
In terms of love life, I'm keeping my mind set on one person right now.. and I don't want to steer away and venture too deep either.. cox we've discussed just staying as friends for the moment and getting to know each other better to see how chemistry flows... So Gregory Varghese (I'm reminding myself here) please don't jump ahead of yourself and consider how the other guy feels first ok.... (OK!)
For a few groups of people I like to mention before I leave, I want to say...
ASC/NDC:
I really am proud of all you guys and gals I want to help you more by improving myself and giving as much as I can to the group as possible.... I am dearly and greatly hoping for all of us to reach a higher goal and be the best we can be and maybe even take home a first prize or two.. Dance of all forms is now a Growing Culture in Singapore and It's going to take everyone's hearts by storm... =]
NAFA People:
I'm so Glad that I'm finding a new side to myself and it's mostly thanks to having friends like you to build me up.. I miss spending time with Effeys and I really miss just slacking and going insane..I don't regret having joined an arts school at this point in my life because I've met too many wonderful people and I intend to spend my time getting to knw more of you guys.... Also thank you to all those of you in 1Q and 2F.. the competive spirit our class drives is just so wonderful and it's only made me better in my academics and personal studies .. =]
NBSS schoolmates:
Although we hardly met this year, I've enjoyed the chance occasions where we got together or just bumped into each other by accident... cox it's wonderful that I get to see you all grow and partake in a new course of life and it always brings me joy (and lots of irriations too =P) whenever I'm around you guys... HAHAH Lets meet up more often in the new year.. O.O!!!
And to Everyone else reading this right now:
I Lastly want to wish everyone I know that is reading this blog a Happy new Year... Have good Health, stay Safe and always be as Happy as you can be... Look on the Positive.. Never forego consquences to any of your actions and keep an open mind to learn more and gain new things for yourself and the people you cherish...
V'ZeuLKiD
PS HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009 EBULLIBODY!!!!
and tonight he fell asleep in my lap..
As he laid there snoring with his lips pursed in a cute fashion,
I played as many songs that suited the mood as I looked at him from time to time and imagined a future together with him... sure it wasn't a perfect future all dreamt out with icing on the cake.. but It was the kind of future I just imagine where I could come home and he'd be there.. resting on my lap just as tonight...
If not with anyone else... It's with you...
Just with you...
All I did today was... well... close to nothing...
DS-ed on Luminous Arc 2
Thought about you
Stuffed my Face with Popping Chocolate, Hershey's and Kit Kats
Thought about you
Chatted on Msn with two or three people
Thought about you
and lastly
thought about you
hahakz
V'ZeuLKiD
PS COME BACK SOON LA!!! hahakz
Under the Stars Throughout the past few hours with you and my Mac & Cheese in one Hand and my Pokka Ice Lemon Tea in the other I felt complete and Whole...
You Made me feel what I've been wanting to feel since like Forever...
And You Made me want to be a better me...
I'm Gonna FCUKING MISS YOU for the next few days.. please journey safely and come back home safely ok..
V'ZeuLKiD
PS I'm thinking of stealing your photo and putting it in my phone HAHA.. no I'll ask your permission first.. lalalalalalaaa~
Ohrite........
Here are my Pressies from My Birthday and Christmas from Random Peoples...


Thank you Random People... muacks
PS Will you Unbreak my Shattered Heart...
Inspired by Bryan, I've decided to put up my own Wish List in my Profile Section which will help me keep track of the things I've been wanting to save up for myself..
I have A VERY STRONG FEELING that once Bryan has all his gadgets healed, he's going to send me "BYTE" hahaahaha
but I'm older so I get to say I'm sorry I can't read well my visions blur... getting old ah!! ahahahkz
V'ZeuLKiD
The Family Stone is indeed a very heart-warming yet bitter sweet movie to watch about christmas, Family and Lovers during the festive season...
However, my Christmas' won't be like that cox I don't have that kind of love.. oh wells..
FELIZ NAVIDAD
and a PA DA PA PA PA to you too...
I fell aslp last night After I came back from Work on Christmas Eve on the Couch after a long convo with Him And I'm kinda sorry that if ever he reads this but I usually sleep when I'm talking to loved ones.. it's something about their voices that soothes me...
oh wells.. enoughs of that.. I'm gonna pass some stuff to Rosie dearest later... and Also continue with some project later at night... Apparently I'm also having guest over... just a few relatives with the usual MOUNTAINS of Food my Mom obviously Can't count through properly.. oh wells...
Another Christmas Is about to go by...
V'ZeuLKiD
PS Merry Christmas to You
Well Merry X'mas EVE to those of you who've been good boys and girls...
It's Officially Christmas Eve Morning.. and not much of my feelings have changed since then... But it's been better...
I went out with Vanessa today and we started with a Sushi Breakfast courteousy of Sushi Deli and My Wallet, which included about 5 Different Sushi for each of us followed by an Onigiri and we ate them all at first while walking around New Northpoint and then later whilst buying Hui Ting's Present at the Food Court...
However, After getting Huiting's Presents, we went to Woodlands and met with the girl herself... We did some Shopping for Clement's Stuffs and got him a DS Case, Pink Cross Stickers, Pink Card Holder, Ex Sweets and A KeyChain I think hahakz... Or maybe I already mentioned it but it was all wrapped in a Cartoon Box... hahakz
And then I got a gift to exchange with Rahmah for tomorrow it's since she got me something out of the blue and wanted to pass it to me... hahakz she's wierd.. PERIOD!! haahhaahahah
so ok... I was waiting for His Call but I'm just guessing he decided to not call cox he knows I have a really busy day tomorrow and I told him that it was because I didn't wanna inconvenience others but I was a fool... I'm giving myself the biggest inconvenience of all by saying that so I can't hear his voice tonight... It got more lonely all of a sudden...
Awww wells..
I guess not everyone can be happy during Christmas Time...
I'm ready with the Resignation from Student Assistantship, Going to Check out the Christmas Eve Party Tomorrow and Finally work at Delifrance for the rest of the day...
So I guess I'll blog back tomorrow..
In the Spirit of Christmas, I hope the best for all of you guys and for Him especially... Yes.. Him..
V'ZeuLKiD
PS I'm Having trouble with the autoplay feature for the music so you can choose to play it but I'd rather you do cox it really tells you what I'm feeling... appreciated...
I just want to let go of everything and then grab on to things as they float away from me... so that I will only be able to grasp on to things that mean the most... while letting everything else just disintigrate into nothingness...
I'm not trying to be emo or anything.. It's just my mind at the moment... I want everything to turn to nothing this christmas... I don't even feel like going out.. The other day I played with cousins... ate lots at a christmas party and even had my head partially sawed off by a magician at a magic act won at the lucky draw... played the piano and caroled ... and even won at taboo against relatives ... but.. all of it kinda meant nothing ... Although it was a temporary point of joy... But I guess that playful part of me just feels empty since I never really knew what a real family was to begin with... Sure I've got a mom and dad... but what's the point when all I'm holding are empy hands that leave me alone in a dark place without a light to follow...
I think I push people I love away from me for a reason... because I know being with me can only eventually lead you to place where all happiness turns to sorrow...
no one on this earth will ever know my loneliness the pain that's been sewed on to me ever since someday in the years of my past...
I feel like somehow I'm the Voodoo doll to my own heart.. no matter where you poke me, I'll hurt inside and not outside...
Superficially I'm alright... But things which leave scrapes on me leave mortal wounds deep in my heart....
But putting all this internal feelings aside... I just need to take some time off.. I wanna find myself.. and I wanna find someone to help me find myself.. and their self too....
I told furbee something today... I said no matter what I'll be committed to this Crew.. ASC... After I said it I have to admit I was afraid that I couldn't keep that promise... BUT for the sake of not myself... but for People like Kiddo, Sap, Shai, Rebecca, Furbee, Safiah and Nabilah.. and even others like Natasha, Cheryl and Hakim I would be naught a dancer today If it weren't for all of you guys... And I'd like to especially thank Hakim...
He's not feeling too well emotionally and physically right now (the arm.. yes I read your blog) but I just need to do some ammendments so that I can finally get this off my chest... I look forward to challenging you at dance sometime soon because you made me the dancer I am today because of past things you've taught me.. everytime I saw you dance you put a smile on my face... So I went and learned under a instructor and met more people so they could teach more about dance... but I haven't stopped I'll continue learning and show you that you're inspiration to me has paid off definitely..
Lastly, I hope all the best for you in your future endeavours.. I know it may not mean much saying this but... If you ever need a friend.. I might be free.... Hmm maybe need to check my schedule or something...
WTH OFF COURSE I'LL FIND THE TIME.. hahakz...
And I really hope that whomever that girl is that's in your heart.. realises just how much you care for her ...
Haiz... speaking of matters of the heart...
that reminds me that I've yet to find the time to meet him.. yes.. him.. and if you've read from the top you realise that I'm currently pushing people I love away from me.. starting recently.. So should I take the chance and Meet you now.. I'm afraid you might me see me as not being interested... and leave me... but you don't read my blog anyways so you'd probably not know that I really need you right now..
Sure my life isn't like Junjou Romantica or some Yaoi fantasy... but I'd really wouldn't my life lasting the regular japanese 26 episodes and ending off... seriously.. because anything is better than what I'm enduring right now....
Will my Happy Ever After ever arrive?
V'ZeuLKiD
PS the photos from Clarke Quay including Jaz's are all uploaded at my Picasa Web Album... Link is at the Y on the word EMPTY.. (I'm so tired of saying that : [ )

I've been kinda busy so I've hadn't found a good time to upload all the photos to my com.. but finally I can blog about it...
So on the 7th, I went out with the dance peeps to catch a performance at Zhenghua CC a very reminiscent place... Where I lepaked for one of the first times in my life... with people whom I hardly knew then but know a lil better now...
But also a place that If I never knew about, I probably wouldn't have been even more exposed to dance.. If memory serves me correct, It was Zhenghua about 1 Year ago when I attended the dance comp previously and saw my current members... and people whom I would have never imagined to dance with.. and then here I am back again... although I didn't make any new friends this year, Who knows... maybe I got noticed... =]











Alright so after Zhenghua, the next day was an outing with my aunt and uncle they brought me and my mom out for a lunch treat at a Casual Fine Dining And BOY was it nice... for only $28+++, Here's what I had... 







Then off to explore the rest of the Pan Pacific... Architecture and Interior Design Student should really check the place out... It's Quite A Work of Art In Itself... 
Then we took an elevator Life Ride Up and Down to get a Glimpse of the View As I Had done before Many Years ago... But I'm sad to say that Singapore looks pretty Ugly now.. Why? I think you'll agree with me when I say Everwhere you go All you see is Construction... Schools, Old Buildings, New Buildings EVEN, Shopping Centres, HDB, Landmarks, Orchard Road, Sentosa... I Know that it will be a constant thing with having to constantly improve and all but mind you I think the pollution and dust levels are just off the charts and OMG... it makes everything around it look UGLY!!!! LA!!!! 


rant rant rant... ok done ranting...
We also visited the Local Bakery at the Hotel... THAT THING WAS MADE OUT OF REAL COOKIES AND SWEETS.. I'm NOT KIDDING!!!

I told Craig about my schoolmates from Nafa and all the more who encouraged me not to get disappointed in myself about not having a good as standard at them or as being talented as them... He made me understand that talent isn't everything in a person and also that talent isn't something that's fully inborn, there still alot you have to learn about to take your talent to the next level... And I think I'm the latter.. I need to create a really interesting style in my works... Furthermore, talent is one thing but you still need that X-factor to make people like you and your work... so it doesn't matter how nice your work is if your a two-faced son of a bitch who can't help but brag (no reference to anyone.. just an i.e.)
After some Arcade games, we ate at Shokudo at Cineleisure (btw I skipped on the part where I had to wait about 21491231239 hours outside K-Box for these monkeys to finish their drunkard korean songs) oops! please skip the brackets part... ** whistles ** (oh shit I can't whistle)

I Love you If your still reading from here AHAHAHAHAHAH!! MUACKSSS FOR YOU!!/
YUPS so after that I chatted with Sushi over Anime and Cosplaying and some Local events... and then she wanted me to ask my Bitch Rose to do her Braids as well cox she really like mine... ahhakz... then she gave me a discount for dinner at Pastamania... (for me it was Breakfast.. HUNGRY!)
This was her staff meal and my discounted meal before she started work... I HEART THE NEW JAPANESE PASTAS!!!! I think its' called Tosu Teriwasu and err.. Sushi's was... In Store ONLY fried RICE that I think was DAMN NICE LA!!!! jealousss Grr!!!


hahakz
V'ZeuLKiD
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty
{/2008 turns a Year Older --
Wednesday, December 31, 2008 ( 3:43 PM )
Well well well..
It's going to occur all OVER again... hahkz
2008 is ending tonight at approximately 11:59:59:99 am... and it's that time of blog year again...
So what's happened this year.. so far ...
I've been in my Year 2 of Nafa in transition with ending of my Year 1 and I've met soo many new friends both local and internationally... I've made many new friendships but at the same time I've lost friends through some very tragic circumstances all I wish I never wished it'd happen ever...
but then Life has to go on and somethings will and can only get better... (I hope)
I've realised that this year, I've become someone that is more reserved in comparison with myself around my Secondary School Years Whence I'd make friends just by smiling at someone else... I'm not saying I'm a social dog or anything It's just that's how my charisma works around other people and I really really Liked it... the way it works...
I miss doing alot of things this year.. I can recall I was supposed to attend a lot of functions and funerals and parties and weddings and events and birthdays and I missed them.. and sadly enough Because of such things, It has led me to becoming someone that I despise the most ....
An Anti-Socialite that only sticks to the people he's comfortable with...
For the next year, I'm going to set a few resolutions in association as well with my personal wishlist and goals to set..
The Main one being..
To forge many more friendships, relationships and stronger ties with existing people...
I for some reason am still not very good on terms with my family but I wouldn't mind being more involved so I have to be a bit more initiative-oriented...
Amongst the things I want to change about myself for the better is that.. when I'm given a project, I want to set my own goals for reaching where I wanna go in the project and get it on my top priorities to finish so that I don't have to cause lots of problems for my lecturers, peers and myself most of all...
Not forgeting my extra activities, I want to be more firm with myself this year.. and train to obtain a level of which I can be satisfied with the fact and give myself a mind where I know I can strum forward to the beat of confidence... (hence I have saved up revenue to invest in dance lessons at O'school)
After which, I want to get involved with more personal home made projects that I can keep in my portfolio for design purposes and other extracts and OH YES.. I've got a brand new idea that I want to utilize before school reopens in terms of gift giving for friends this coming year.. It will also help in my portfolio... and I'm quite proud of the idea...
In terms of love life, I'm keeping my mind set on one person right now.. and I don't want to steer away and venture too deep either.. cox we've discussed just staying as friends for the moment and getting to know each other better to see how chemistry flows... So Gregory Varghese (I'm reminding myself here) please don't jump ahead of yourself and consider how the other guy feels first ok.... (OK!)
For a few groups of people I like to mention before I leave, I want to say...
ASC/NDC:
I really am proud of all you guys and gals I want to help you more by improving myself and giving as much as I can to the group as possible.... I am dearly and greatly hoping for all of us to reach a higher goal and be the best we can be and maybe even take home a first prize or two.. Dance of all forms is now a Growing Culture in Singapore and It's going to take everyone's hearts by storm... =]
NAFA People:
I'm so Glad that I'm finding a new side to myself and it's mostly thanks to having friends like you to build me up.. I miss spending time with Effeys and I really miss just slacking and going insane..I don't regret having joined an arts school at this point in my life because I've met too many wonderful people and I intend to spend my time getting to knw more of you guys.... Also thank you to all those of you in 1Q and 2F.. the competive spirit our class drives is just so wonderful and it's only made me better in my academics and personal studies .. =]
NBSS schoolmates:
Although we hardly met this year, I've enjoyed the chance occasions where we got together or just bumped into each other by accident... cox it's wonderful that I get to see you all grow and partake in a new course of life and it always brings me joy (and lots of irriations too =P) whenever I'm around you guys... HAHAH Lets meet up more often in the new year.. O.O!!!
And to Everyone else reading this right now:
I Lastly want to wish everyone I know that is reading this blog a Happy new Year... Have good Health, stay Safe and always be as Happy as you can be... Look on the Positive.. Never forego consquences to any of your actions and keep an open mind to learn more and gain new things for yourself and the people you cherish...
V'ZeuLKiD
PS HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009 EBULLIBODY!!!!
{/Tonight... --
Tuesday, December 30, 2008 ( 3:04 AM )
and tonight he fell asleep in my lap..
As he laid there snoring with his lips pursed in a cute fashion,
I played as many songs that suited the mood as I looked at him from time to time and imagined a future together with him... sure it wasn't a perfect future all dreamt out with icing on the cake.. but It was the kind of future I just imagine where I could come home and he'd be there.. resting on my lap just as tonight...
If not with anyone else... It's with you...
Just with you...
V'ZeuLKiD
PS... I give up on every failed relationship and past break I've had just so I can be yours fully... WHY on earth you've even chosen me, I'll never know... But at the moment all I want is you to look peaceful this way whenever your around me... (I'm almost tearing up here).. Am I In Love? Oh God..
{/ --
Saturday, December 27, 2008 ( 5:54 PM )
All I did today was... well... close to nothing...
DS-ed on Luminous Arc 2
Thought about you
Stuffed my Face with Popping Chocolate, Hershey's and Kit Kats
Thought about you
Chatted on Msn with two or three people
Thought about you
and lastly
thought about you
hahakz
V'ZeuLKiD
PS COME BACK SOON LA!!! hahakz
{/Watashi Aishiteru Yo~ --
( 3:00 AM )
Under the Stars Throughout the past few hours with you and my Mac & Cheese in one Hand and my Pokka Ice Lemon Tea in the other I felt complete and Whole...
You Made me feel what I've been wanting to feel since like Forever...
And You Made me want to be a better me...
I'm Gonna FCUKING MISS YOU for the next few days.. please journey safely and come back home safely ok..
V'ZeuLKiD
PS I'm thinking of stealing your photo and putting it in my phone HAHA.. no I'll ask your permission first.. lalalalalalaaa~
{/Birthdays & Christmas' --
Friday, December 26, 2008 ( 1:08 AM )
Ohrite........
Here are my Pressies from My Birthday and Christmas from Random Peoples...

Thank you Random People... muacks
V'ZeuLKiD
PS Will you Unbreak my Shattered Heart...
{/Christmas Continues --
Thursday, December 25, 2008 ( 2:53 PM )
{/Wishes and Kisses --
( 11:33 AM )
Inspired by Bryan, I've decided to put up my own Wish List in my Profile Section which will help me keep track of the things I've been wanting to save up for myself..
I have A VERY STRONG FEELING that once Bryan has all his gadgets healed, he's going to send me "BYTE" hahaahaha
but I'm older so I get to say I'm sorry I can't read well my visions blur... getting old ah!! ahahahkz
V'ZeuLKiD
{/Feliz Navidad --
( 10:31 AM )
The Family Stone is indeed a very heart-warming yet bitter sweet movie to watch about christmas, Family and Lovers during the festive season...
However, my Christmas' won't be like that cox I don't have that kind of love.. oh wells..
FELIZ NAVIDAD
and a PA DA PA PA PA to you too...
I fell aslp last night After I came back from Work on Christmas Eve on the Couch after a long convo with Him And I'm kinda sorry that if ever he reads this but I usually sleep when I'm talking to loved ones.. it's something about their voices that soothes me...
oh wells.. enoughs of that.. I'm gonna pass some stuff to Rosie dearest later... and Also continue with some project later at night... Apparently I'm also having guest over... just a few relatives with the usual MOUNTAINS of Food my Mom obviously Can't count through properly.. oh wells...
Another Christmas Is about to go by...
V'ZeuLKiD
PS Merry Christmas to You
{/WIshes and YAKDUSHES --
Wednesday, December 24, 2008 ( 9:23 AM )
Well Merry X'mas EVE to those of you who've been good boys and girls...
Bad people need to get killed =]
V'ZeuLKiD
PS I was SO RANDOM HERE!!!... I'm off to start my Busy Day
{/An Eve Begining --
( 4:13 AM )
It's Officially Christmas Eve Morning.. and not much of my feelings have changed since then... But it's been better...
I went out with Vanessa today and we started with a Sushi Breakfast courteousy of Sushi Deli and My Wallet, which included about 5 Different Sushi for each of us followed by an Onigiri and we ate them all at first while walking around New Northpoint and then later whilst buying Hui Ting's Present at the Food Court...
However, After getting Huiting's Presents, we went to Woodlands and met with the girl herself... We did some Shopping for Clement's Stuffs and got him a DS Case, Pink Cross Stickers, Pink Card Holder, Ex Sweets and A KeyChain I think hahakz... Or maybe I already mentioned it but it was all wrapped in a Cartoon Box... hahakz
And then I got a gift to exchange with Rahmah for tomorrow it's since she got me something out of the blue and wanted to pass it to me... hahakz she's wierd.. PERIOD!! haahhaahahah
so ok... I was waiting for His Call but I'm just guessing he decided to not call cox he knows I have a really busy day tomorrow and I told him that it was because I didn't wanna inconvenience others but I was a fool... I'm giving myself the biggest inconvenience of all by saying that so I can't hear his voice tonight... It got more lonely all of a sudden...
Awww wells..
I guess not everyone can be happy during Christmas Time...
I'm ready with the Resignation from Student Assistantship, Going to Check out the Christmas Eve Party Tomorrow and Finally work at Delifrance for the rest of the day...
So I guess I'll blog back tomorrow..
In the Spirit of Christmas, I hope the best for all of you guys and for Him especially... Yes.. Him..
V'ZeuLKiD
PS I'm Having trouble with the autoplay feature for the music so you can choose to play it but I'd rather you do cox it really tells you what I'm feeling... appreciated...
{/Letting Go... --
Monday, December 22, 2008 ( 10:27 PM )
I just want to let go of everything and then grab on to things as they float away from me... so that I will only be able to grasp on to things that mean the most... while letting everything else just disintigrate into nothingness...
I'm not trying to be emo or anything.. It's just my mind at the moment... I want everything to turn to nothing this christmas... I don't even feel like going out.. The other day I played with cousins... ate lots at a christmas party and even had my head partially sawed off by a magician at a magic act won at the lucky draw... played the piano and caroled ... and even won at taboo against relatives ... but.. all of it kinda meant nothing ... Although it was a temporary point of joy... But I guess that playful part of me just feels empty since I never really knew what a real family was to begin with... Sure I've got a mom and dad... but what's the point when all I'm holding are empy hands that leave me alone in a dark place without a light to follow...
I think I push people I love away from me for a reason... because I know being with me can only eventually lead you to place where all happiness turns to sorrow...
no one on this earth will ever know my loneliness the pain that's been sewed on to me ever since someday in the years of my past...
I feel like somehow I'm the Voodoo doll to my own heart.. no matter where you poke me, I'll hurt inside and not outside...
Superficially I'm alright... But things which leave scrapes on me leave mortal wounds deep in my heart....
But putting all this internal feelings aside... I just need to take some time off.. I wanna find myself.. and I wanna find someone to help me find myself.. and their self too....
I told furbee something today... I said no matter what I'll be committed to this Crew.. ASC... After I said it I have to admit I was afraid that I couldn't keep that promise... BUT for the sake of not myself... but for People like Kiddo, Sap, Shai, Rebecca, Furbee, Safiah and Nabilah.. and even others like Natasha, Cheryl and Hakim I would be naught a dancer today If it weren't for all of you guys... And I'd like to especially thank Hakim...
He's not feeling too well emotionally and physically right now (the arm.. yes I read your blog) but I just need to do some ammendments so that I can finally get this off my chest... I look forward to challenging you at dance sometime soon because you made me the dancer I am today because of past things you've taught me.. everytime I saw you dance you put a smile on my face... So I went and learned under a instructor and met more people so they could teach more about dance... but I haven't stopped I'll continue learning and show you that you're inspiration to me has paid off definitely..
Lastly, I hope all the best for you in your future endeavours.. I know it may not mean much saying this but... If you ever need a friend.. I might be free.... Hmm maybe need to check my schedule or something...
WTH OFF COURSE I'LL FIND THE TIME.. hahakz...
And I really hope that whomever that girl is that's in your heart.. realises just how much you care for her ...
Haiz... speaking of matters of the heart...
that reminds me that I've yet to find the time to meet him.. yes.. him.. and if you've read from the top you realise that I'm currently pushing people I love away from me.. starting recently.. So should I take the chance and Meet you now.. I'm afraid you might me see me as not being interested... and leave me... but you don't read my blog anyways so you'd probably not know that I really need you right now..
Sure my life isn't like Junjou Romantica or some Yaoi fantasy... but I'd really wouldn't my life lasting the regular japanese 26 episodes and ending off... seriously.. because anything is better than what I'm enduring right now....
Will my Happy Ever After ever arrive?
V'ZeuLKiD
PS the photos from Clarke Quay including Jaz's are all uploaded at my Picasa Web Album... Link is at the Y on the word EMPTY.. (I'm so tired of saying that : [ )
{/Where Reality &The Subconscious Collide --
Sunday, December 21, 2008 ( 3:32 PM )
Last Night,
I dreamt that It was sometime around christmas and My mom and I visited Uncle Alvin's House (aka my Grandpa's home) in Yishun... There were tons of people and I didn't like being surrounded by all these unfamiliar faces.. It felt like I was being swallowed up by hollow faces...
I wanted to play with my uncle's dog Burnie... A golden Brown Poodle Puppy but my Uncle told me that he wasn't feeling so well... Burnie looked depressed and when I tried calling him he just came to me and never faced me eye to eye the whole time so I couldn't see his face...
I didn't mind...
My Uncle then told me he was starting an Ice-Cream Business out of the blue and he wanted to try the flavours... My uncle then said Burnie couldn't be near the Ice-Cream but he smeared some Green flavouring from a Tub of it on the drawer near him and burnie went up to it and licked around it never touching the Ice-Cream or Maybe he did get a few drops...
Then later I think someone was taunting Burnie and he curled up shaking near my feet and I can only recall feeling a mixture of depression and loathe... Later we were supposed to take a photograph in the next door neighbours house.. with everyone in my uncle's home ... I think that everyone was my relative but I hardly knew any of them.. I do recall there were a lot of small girls around for some strange reason... all younger than me..
But as I proceeded next door, the entire scenery changed to the airport and I was walking into a small room where everyone from the previous scene was gathering and we were supposed to take a group photo... I wanted to call Burnie but my Uncle Scolded him and told him to go back... I recall my cousin Summer being there.. (my uncle's daughter)
But as we were about to take the photo everyone started doing a strange game running up to each other within this small room now apparently filled with christmas present and alot of those electric ball thingies that you see at the science centre... When you touch them the electricity tries to attach itself to your fingers through the Glass ball.. I just felt that everyone was wasting lots of time and I wanted to yell at everyone but I didn't know them so I think I was about to leave the room thinking everything about what was going on was illogical... But for some reason I noticed two of the glass ball electricity thingies were getting wierd.. the electricity was coming out and I tried yelling at my mom to turn off the switch but she didn't listen giving me a blank stare...
I got infuriated and yelled at her with curse words... and then she finally turned it off with a look of unhappiness... everyone in the room stared at me as though I was a tyrant yelling at my own mom like that... I was only thinking that the glass balls might have killed someone since they were malfunctioning with the electricity coming out in all directions...
Lastly, I left the room hoping for something else...
As I left the scene faded to a mobile hot dog stand vendor and he was tall black guy that looked like Obama.... some random guy came and ordered a hot dog from him and after which the Obama-looking Vendor grew a few more extra heads and hands and made the hot dog order at lightning speed while one of the extra heads kissed his customer (the random stranger) on the cheek... it was one of the most random things I've ever dreamt off...
I can even remember the hot dog which had a squiggly line of mustard right through the middle on top of a sfoot long dog in between a sesame-coated hot dog bun... I can't believe I remember that....
Lastly, it was like I was walking by some old lady and then the scene faded to some Television showing a commercial of Discovery Channel promotion TV mobile... I SWEAR TO GOD THE COMMERCIAL WENT LIKE THIS...
there were lots of airplanes heading towards the screen and then from one of the bottom few airplanes, the words "Discover Channel" came flying to the front.. but I remember thinking it was a promotion for National Geographic or some Travel channel....
Don't ask me... That's just what I dreamt....
Then I woke up and tried to recall everything which seemed to give me a headache.. I can't believe I dreamt all that in ONE night...
GOD!
V'ZeuLKiD
PS I need to go out for some party/funeral thingy right now but after I'm back I'll blog about my current life and by that time the Album should have all my Picasa Web Album Photos Uploaded...
{/Whale Feathers --
Friday, December 19, 2008 ( 3:02 PM )
Well, It's about time to start blogging again..
So The Holidays are almost about over.. I'm starting to get that laggy feeling like it's really going to end and I have nothing to show for it... I'm still kinda bummed out on certain things like having to get my room cleaned up (not done), trying to get myself to understand my true feelings for this guy and also asking myself how productive my holidays have been... I'm turning into an indubitable (I hope it's the right spelling) workaholic... hopefully for the better...
Congragulations to Kiddo and Bryan for their Commending N level Results... And Good Luck to the two of you for You future O' Level Studies and Examinations... The List of Congrats extends to all and anyone whom has been able to pass and move on to the next level in your studies as well... I'm not saying that I know all of you personally hahakz just well wishes...
Lastly... I don't know.. or rather I do know that there's this guy on my mind now... He's been contacting me from time to time and he's not half bad.. he contacts me regularly and stuff and he's always pestering to meet me... I'm not saying he's bad or annoying.. on the Contrary...
He's actually different from other guys I've dated... He's the kinda guy I've been so desperately seeking yet so afraid to take it one step further with... You know that feeling that you're afraid it'll turn out like a previous similar event.. But then that's just it, I know those past relationships I've had went bad because of me... all three of them... So.. The Issue is me Now...
I don't want it to turn out that way But I don't wanna be Alone either...
Consequential Apparitions Collide...
V'ZeuLKiD
PS I am going to upload the event pictures from my Sec Sch Class Gathering Soon... =]
PSS It's times like this I wish I Had a Whale's Feather....
{/Plating and Presentation --
Thursday, December 11, 2008 ( 6:49 PM )
I give myself a minus 18471893719837129 for my dish...
Combination of Bee Hoon, White Rice, Briyani Rice, Baby Ikan Bilis Sambal, Malaysian Aunt's Onion Garlic Fried Garnish, Beef Stir-Fry and Uncle's Fried Chicken Special Sauce from Charco's Chicken ...
Why Did I blog About this?...
GO FIGURE!!!
V'ZeuLKiD
{/7th & 8th Dec Reminiscence --
( 12:47 PM )
Firstly, I hope You guys Enjoy this blog.. Secondly It's technically 3-4 Days long so It's got lot of pics and stuff and I spent a lot of time and effort making it so hopefully ou read it all the way through.. =]
ENJOY!
So ...
I've been kinda busy so I've hadn't found a good time to upload all the photos to my com.. but finally I can blog about it...
Hooray and Here we Go
So on the 7th, I went out with the dance peeps to catch a performance at Zhenghua CC a very reminiscent place... Where I lepaked for one of the first times in my life... with people whom I hardly knew then but know a lil better now...
But also a place that If I never knew about, I probably wouldn't have been even more exposed to dance.. If memory serves me correct, It was Zhenghua about 1 Year ago when I attended the dance comp previously and saw my current members... and people whom I would have never imagined to dance with.. and then here I am back again... although I didn't make any new friends this year, Who knows... maybe I got noticed... =]
Well lets let the event pics do the rest of the talking....
We also visited the Local Bakery at the Hotel... THAT THING WAS MADE OUT OF REAL COOKIES AND SWEETS.. I'm NOT KIDDING!!!
So after all this, I took a stroll with my mom, Craig and Susan (my unc and aunt whom don't like me calling them uncle and aunty) at Marina Square but unfortunately the bowling alley was full on that day.. PH what! what to do... so we rested outside Waruku on their waiting seats area and let out meals digest while talking ...
I told Craig about my schoolmates from Nafa and all the more who encouraged me not to get disappointed in myself about not having a good as standard at them or as being talented as them... He made me understand that talent isn't everything in a person and also that talent isn't something that's fully inborn, there still alot you have to learn about to take your talent to the next level... And I think I'm the latter.. I need to create a really interesting style in my works... Furthermore, talent is one thing but you still need that X-factor to make people like you and your work... so it doesn't matter how nice your work is if your a two-faced son of a bitch who can't help but brag (no reference to anyone.. just an i.e.)
phew... I'm typing alot aren't I...
WELL after sharing a few tunes and a few more life lessons with my uncle, He told me that I shouldn't Give UP and after that I left to meet my NAFA buddies.. For my Post-Bdae Celebration...
Here's my PT GF... ACTING CUTE!!! and the lovely VaneeO-o And JASMINE (Justin HUITING it's JUSTIN)
anyways
Then after the lovely dinner I got my pressies HOORAY!! A NEW BAG... I Shall Post it Soon...
And of course Huiyan got an umbrella a doll & shutter shades... ehehehehehe
Huiyan then said her room was in a mess and she had to go back to clean it up or else she'd have no place to sleep... (imagining her sleeping on a bed of nails) OOOO!!!
Then Van, Justin & Mua went over to Whisk, Some quaint Little Cafe by Wisma Atria to catch a Drink and Chill... oh btw I find the new Nike Shop there quite interesting although I really miss the Topman shop.... wekkk wekk wekkk.... PS PURPLE NIKE SHOWS ARE SEX!!!
erhmm... next...
So yup I didn't do much on the 9th.. just slacked at home and did nothing..
And then ytd I met Sushi to go collect my Cert for dance.... YEAYS.. I'm an intermediate Hip Hop Level Dancer... Sigh!... but you know I'll let you in on a little secret...
I really don't feel like I'm being treated like a dancer... rather more of a back-up dancer in my crew... but I don't know that's what my heart tells me.. cox sometimes I give suggestions and stuff but it's not taken into consideration.. maybe I not good enough to be a leader for dance I don't mind that.. But to hear me out once in a while... I feel like a Third Wheel in my crew... oh well .. maybe things will get better from here on in..
Hopefully...
I Love you If your still reading from here AHAHAHAHAHAH!! MUACKSSS FOR YOU!!/
YUPS so after that I chatted with Sushi over Anime and Cosplaying and some Local events... and then she wanted me to ask my Bitch Rose to do her Braids as well cox she really like mine... ahhakz... then she gave me a discount for dinner at Pastamania... (for me it was Breakfast.. HUNGRY!)
I hate it you know.. not the food... the fact that everytime I go out especially with a Girl the people whom I've never met assume automatically that is my GF... LIKE WTH!!! hahaakz. do I look like a cassonova... I DONT THINK SO!!! haahhaakz
must be blind or something ahahkz
must be blind or something ahahkz
This was her staff meal and my discounted meal before she started work... I HEART THE NEW JAPANESE PASTAS!!!! I think its' called Tosu Teriwasu and err.. Sushi's was... In Store ONLY fried RICE that I think was DAMN NICE LA!!!! jealousss Grr!!!
SO after that I left since there was no dance pract that day (cancelled) and then Met rose and chilled at Delifrance till Closing... Made a few new friends at Deli.. Mira, Saiful, Shahirah and errr... that other guy.. hahakz.. sorry terlupe nama uh!! hahakz
Ya and Jamin looks sexy in long sleeve... hahhahaz.. I won't forget that line..
"Pussy smell like Sweet Oil" OMG!!! WTF!!!! ahahahaahaha
Ya that's about it!!! So Thank you for reading this NOVEL of a blog.. muacks... that's 3 Days... and yess the link for all the photos from The Zhenghua Comp is in my Archive at the "Y" in the word EMPTY above... Sayonara and slipping on away!!
If we; Should be getting under
These sheets; We could lie in this bed; But it's Empty
These sheets; We could lie in this bed; But it's Empty
{/tagboard --
i think they call it freedom of speech
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Trying too hard; Maybe we're torn apart
{/links --
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{/archives --
watch me waste my life away
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{/credits --
designer DancingSheep
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts; We're Empty
now playing
Some Random Muses, As Mentioned
The Link to
My Photo Albums
V'ZeuLKiD's Picasa Web Archives
`(<--- Coming Soon the Works of Art I've been Promising --->)`
Is beating our hearts; We're Empty
{/Digitized Beloveds --
my virtual barang
now playing
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The Link to
My Photo Albums
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{/Gregografika --
grieverez productions present
`(<--- Coming Soon the Works of Art I've been Promising --->)`
{/Play at My HeartStrings --
... For A Better Feel ... With Me ...
