%EMPTY

e m P t Y

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

{/The NIght Before --

Wednesday, January 30, 2008 ( 3:31 AM )

I had A Dream The night Before...

I was actually having a convo ytd till about 7 when I like completely lost my sense to be awake.. i turned everything off and cried myself to sleep i just slept thru the night till abt 4 plus in the morning and then i went back to slp seeing as how i got no school on tuesdays.. and Then ... it happened...

I had this Dream..

I opened my eyes (literally believing that i was awake) stuck in half dream-like state and half-reality... I sincerely thought that i could move and get out of bed but then I noticed I was already standing.. I was wearing pyjamas... And my mouth and eyes were plastered shut with those sticker labels the kind u find with warning instructions and barcodes on the back or front of your new items.. in several languages and different instructions...

I couldnt see nor speak and i tried to remove them..

Peeling of layer by layer...

Layer

by

Layer

by

Layer

by

Layer

by

Layer... and so on UNTIL

i could utter a word and see something of what seemed to be a crowd of people....

I blinked for a split second...JUST A SPLIT SECOND... and then the nightmare began...

MY EYES AND MOUTH WERE REPLASTERED.....

I was dazed/stunned at the whole sudden darkness and still silence of myself...

I Struggled again to remove the bandaged stickers that were implanted on me... I tugged and stretched and Yanked them off but the moment i blinked, Everything seemed to reoccur... i did it for what seemed like frantic hours.. till I Dropped to the floor crying.... unable to move not because i couldnt but because i had no will left...

I tapped out, gave up, lost hope, needed help... was stranded...

no one was there... no one helped me... i screamedd...

and then i woke up...

V'ZeuLKiD

{/Tears Roll down ... --

Monday, January 28, 2008 ( 7:24 PM )

I dont even want to know now how it feels like to be happy again... it's useless being sad and then trying to be happy for the sake of others.. I don't think that I'll ever be happy for myself truly..

If U know me and I mean IF u KNOW me... You'll know my biggest weakness is rejection directly to my heart, Rejection with pure intent and none less.

I feel so hurt when a friend of mine said That our friendship was based on something trivial... and u know.. it hurt me it hurt me soo bad...

I now officially havent been attached for so long... And I don't know what in the world i did that made me be a victim.. I guess I must protect myself by just being normal from now on... not insane not crazy happy ... i dont know i might change back to put on a mask but i know i'll never be truly happy unless someone knows intently what's going on with my life and tries to help me out.. I'm not talking abt a bf a friend or a stranger... im talking abt a soulmate.... something i dont think im destined for...

My Highs and Lows are officially removed....

V'ZeuLKiD

{/Well here are some of my Works... --

Tuesday, January 22, 2008 ( 1:47 AM )

Hey Guys Sorry I fell aslp last nite trying to update ... Ugh.. major Lag... What A Drag.. (rhyme?)

Haiyo...

hhakaz

anyways.. i noticed that my viewerships been dropping but that's ok.. hahakz.. blogs are basically here fro sharing one's thoughts and opinions.. =] so anyways moving on

I acfually talked about Some Feelings I've had last night...

Firstly, School. I don't really feel as close to my class as I did last Sem and Boy oh boy that's what everyone's been tellin me too.. well exccept my friendd Ignatius.. But Then again... I guess we haven't really Given 1Q a chnace Yet.. I myself am kinda sad for the people that trf class.. it kinda a feels that they didnt really give the classmates a chance either or rather maybe the class didnt give that classmate a chance to be open to them...

Life sucks when ppl shut u out of the circle... doesnt it.. it forces you to develop an attitude of self awrareness and eagerness to take on being more independent... no?...

Well.. 1Q is a nice class actually we justt need to talk more than we actually do on msn alone hahkz... but i guess it's a start just like when school starts.. everyone's quiet and I don't Know how to get things done properly cos i'm not familiar with the software all that well.. and the techniques and the ppl ard me... BUT!!... Hui Ting's Now in my Class... and Yeay I've Gotten To see everyone Except Jia Yu and Tzu Long for this year...

And Dance... hmm.. Let's just say I'm getting Better, and Meeting more friends and people around.... Hahkz.. but hey No seriously I'm enjoying it .... the workout and the pow wow sessions... I just wish Everytime i went i dint have to be corrected but accept the fact that i need the most work among them.. I'm no dancer.. Just a Learning Inquisitive Mind hahkZ!!!!...

Well... I've realized one more thing... Lately i've Felt so alone... I mean i have tons of ppl ard me and talking to me and interacting and stuff... and that's nice ... making new friends too.. but (trying not to sound cliche).... I feel as if.... there's an echo inside me that goes on forever....

When I scream, It Reverberates in my heart and bounces of the walls inside me and just continues on like that to the point where I feel like I need a Break From Life...

I'm not Suicidal or anything I mean... sure People will feel this way from Time To Time... and it's Understandable... I mean Everything's LIKE THAT for a reason... it's not Cox Oh God Doesnt like me cox i did so and so and he's punishing me for Not being a good Boy... Or crap like that.. I mean...

It's Like I guess I have to Endure this Loneliness For Now... I think Even When I think of you nowadays.. My Fingers feel Numb and My Heart just tingles ever so slightly that I can't even Feel the Warmness that I Once Felt....

I don't want you being a distant memory or a hi-bye friend... like always... But I sure as Hell don't want to interfere in your life if you have someone else on your mind.. and (FYI i've been waiting for you since last year... around sept maybe... onwards..)

Maybe I'm meant not to find love as Mel's decided he's a celebest.... or something like that which means he is never going to find a guy... or date... as he's relationship is only with God...

Hmm.... I won't Decide Or think about that now... But Hey.. I won't Continue Burying myself in A shit hole.. and feel sorry for myself.. I have work to get Done and Deadlines to Meet.. Wow.. I feel like a Working person already.. SHIT!!!.. I'm Only 18 lah!!!!.... -_-~!

on That Note... Here are Some of the works I've accomplished Thus Far.. After First Week.. But There's Still more which I'm Working On... and these works u see.. arent the Final... They are Proceeding to The Final Stages...

Digital Art Design Module Name Design`~ Staircase Model For Design Drawing Class`~
V'ZeuLKiD

{/Mel's Little ACT --

Monday, January 14, 2008 ( 4:41 PM )

Hey everyone there's this singing competition going on in singapore and my friend Melamir Ligas is in it... to win IT! hahakz..

so here's an audition video of him.. he made it to top 15.. personally i feel he can do better... hahakz but its still quite good..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5E3kV9tffo

Eh how many singaporean Guys actually Sing I ask You?! haahkz

Anyways.. Mel's in the top 15 and his perf's at Bishan on the 23rd of Jan... do catch him there.. i think i'll be there myself YEAY!!!..
ok

So ... WHOPPEEEEE!!!

School's started.. and I'm in 1Q... X.X.... seriously i dont know anyone from my class except one person .. Ignatius a friend of mine hahaakz... after getting to know him a bit i heard he's had it rough in term 1 where people don't really mix with him and stuff be he's sorta alright .. hahakz.. yeay i got to see aall the old faces again WHOPEEE!!!.. yeayness..

Rehka, Susan, Gloria, Clem, Yan, Ting, Van, Mark, Shahirah, Liyana, Nas, Patty, and A WHOLE BUNCHA PEEPS!!!... hahakz...

other than that it seems that everyones sort of missing 1F and taht was all I HEARD TODAY haahkz.. how everyone misses the class of a lifetime.. 1F... so sad.. oh well.. anyways... i love all you guys... and sure term 2 will be a nice one... so don't fret abt it... it seems like first day is like monday blues.. it's like raining now..

and as the rain pitter patters im staring out the window and thinking...

"Wonder if this year'll be as great as last year?"

If I get Lucky a wish will come true.. and If I get to Pull my class together like create a social link and get to know everyone like Sem 1 maybe everything's gonna be alright..

New Year's Resolution is NOW OFFICIALLY!!!!
:;`~To Touch people Like the Rain which Connects the Sky and The Earth and to Feel Every Feeling of everything it touches~`;:

Sounds really emo right? well i learnt that from bleach speaking of which i completed watching the first entire season as well as the second and the third and the fourth and the.. ok la all the way to episode 155 ..

PLUS the 2 OVAs and The First MOVIE.. DAMN hahkaz.. all this within three weeks

but Now Im rewatchin different versions of it like the English Sub Version and waiting the newer episodes to come out so i can Download and watch YEAY!!...

next...

well that's it for now.. i've got Dance Practice at 6 at Tampinese WEEE!!...

its like 4:56 La hahak.. GTG!!!

ByeS!!!

V'ZeuLKiD

{/Check out this TimeTable Of Mine --

Sunday, January 13, 2008 ( 4:13 AM )

WALIAO!!!.. My TimeTable Like SuX.. Actually.. its the total Opposite HWAHAHAAHHA.....

Seriously take a look.. you'll regret havin so...hehehe..

I HAVE MY MONDAYS AND TUESDAYS OFF !!!! WOW!!

This is the Best Timetable I EVER GOT!!!... i think i might end up working again wahahahaha....

But i sure as hell won't forget 1F ... Haiz...

It's sad that we have to split up like this but hey.. doesnt mean we won't see each other forever and ever... We'll still keep in touch.. have funtions.. meet... and be close friends.. and that's not just memories that will fade away.. they'll be here for all eternity.. eehehehe...

in terms of dance i think im getting better i can remember more and more steps everytime i go for practice.. and to think the last time i took 3 months to get one routine hahk.. i've really grown... haven't I? hahakz

Oh well...

`~My Lows`~
Parting with 1F =[, Not Saying Hi to Aunty Sharon and still not being able to contact Dee

`~My Highs`~
Maturing as a Dancer, MONDAYS AND TUESDAYS OFF!! and Hanging out with You more and more..

V'ZeuLKiD

PS OK .. now u can even catch my multiply with my blog on it.. all u have to do is click on this link.... http://www.grieverez.multiply.com/... not a bad place actually hahakz!!!...

{/AHakz.. I Simply Love This --

Thursday, January 10, 2008 ( 7:09 PM )

HAhahkz.. I SimPly Love THiS...

And HAppy Bdae Xia.. I know it'S Coming Soon!! hahakz.. Just Love PhotoShop =D

~My Lows~

Having To Tell Sidek That I can't go back to raptors as a member.. Sorry I'm already Taken up but no offence.. I'll come to support you guys in any events =D

~My Highs~

Finally getting Used to Photoshop...

V'ZeuLKiD

{/Rosie MY BITCH --

Monday, January 07, 2008 ( 12:17 PM )

Well It's my officially My BITCH's Official BirthDay!!!.. WAHAHA!! i'm So Proud To Have A BITCH AROUND LIKE HER and Kim... ahahak!!

HAHAK!!!...

Here's How we celebrated..

We Planned to Meet Rose.. but it was already Midnight... then She was Late as usuall so we bought her this Mc Cafe Oreo Cheese Cake... HAAHKz!!.. funny lah.. then we met her and we all together ate and hac fun then we went for bak kuteh... sorry don't knwo how it's spelt... And then they force me makan babi ... Nabey!!!... o.O... i can eat but i Don't Like it!! eWW.. lucky i dropped it on the table and then i made the excuse that i Don't Eat things that have dropped =P..

Then i bought a burger and fries and we went to 7 elelven to get drinks and we all went to blk 356 to Lepak and buang masa... until like around 3 plus in the morning haha!! and we really were having a lot of Fun!!! hahakz.. hope we can have another day like that again... Talking abt EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN!!! OMG!!!! hahakzz....

~My Lows~

Not having done this In a While OOps Sorry... but It was telling him i'd Be Back early to help him with Projects and then we ended up taking so long.. i Kept telling them that i Had to Go And get stuff done but he was alraedy offline when i got home =[

~My Highs~

Meeting up with Tors' and Rose and Kim later at nite.. Hope morier Reads my blog abt the Prev Post =]

V'ZeuLKiD

{/The Nice Day Out HA!!! --

Saturday, January 05, 2008 ( 11:51 PM )

Well Guys I went To Meet With THE Old gang for a small gathering once again... It was just us Brooksians OH and Kay My dear... ahahka!!!...

It's Her Bdae today BTW... SO HAPPY BDAE KAY.. altho its like 11:52Pm rite now and ur bdae is ending in like a few minutes ahahkz.. just wanted to wish u again.. I O U a TREAT ahahak!!!...

Thankz Goodness She doesnt Read my Blos... HAHAK!!...

but i will still owe her LAh!!!

Anyways here are the Pix.. HAD A GREAT TIME!!!

And Morier.. Don't worry Everything will turn out find.. the people closest to you are usually the ones that are the most emotionally in tune with your own being.. in other words... Whatever you say or do does affect that person.. so I hope u just take it easy.. maybe be a bit spontaneous with her... Give her what she wants but at the same time make decisions that will bring you two closer..

Here's a beneficial case scenario for all you guys & gals out there...

Girls, Know what They want...
How do i Know? Trust me.. I'm gay but ... I know how a Girl Thinks Sometimes...

When They are hurt Right and they Don't Want You around them, Don't Let Her walk away from You.. Thinking that Oh she's having a mood swing... or She's Just angry about something now and will cool down and come back later..

Be the Gentleman... And always admit to having done wrong... But Be firm that the actions which you did that make her angry was only done cox .. WhY??? I'll give you a hint.. Starts With.. L--- and is four letters Long..

That's Right.. you Love her...

BUT !!! don't Go around always saying that Even when U KNOW what u have done is totally WRONG!!!.. if that happens apologize and make it up to her.. OK!!!... got it...

ok.. and Ladies Just because a Guy says he's done wrong or Grab ur hand when your angry with him.. when u walk away.. it's not because he is Forcibly making you love him or Doesn't care how you feel... it's because, He iS SO afraid to lose you from his life.. And he only wants to make u feel better.. I'm not saying every arguement can easily be solved with a "Kiss and Make-Up"session.. but... It just takes trust and hope in the two of you to make it work...

And i probably guess ut thinking?... What THE HELL!!! am i GAY FOR if i KNOW SHIT!? like THIS!!!...

well.. sometimes that's how the world works... You can know all The Answers to something But... The Paths we Walk can be totally Different.. It's all to do with preference really.. HAHK!!..

Anyways..

Take care.. and

ENJOY TODAE's OUTING PHOTOS!!! MUACKZ!!!

Kay's, Mor's and Rose's 19th !!!

V'ZeuLKiD

{/ --

( 3:29 AM )

I'm Frucking Boiling Potatoes at 330 NO 3.40AM!!!! YES... FRUCKING!?....

NUGGET!!!....

POTATOES!!!...

POTATOE NUGGETS!!!???...

WTF!?

V'ZeuLKiD

PS that Pretty Much Sums Up my New Year!!!

{/Play at My HeartStrings --

... For A Better Feel ... With Me ...

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