%EMPTY

e m P t Y

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

{/Phew Malay NO MORE --

Monday, October 30, 2006 ( 10:28 PM )

well All... mother tongue is over
NO MORE MALAY...YAAAAAAAAY...

well don't take it like i hate malay...
i find it stressing to learn it forcefully...
but whenits for fun...
haha its like the language of love and laughter...

HAHA...

anywayZ... no more FORCEFULLY LEARNING IT...
I might ruin the perfect score record for cikgu ... haha... sorry cikgu Zuraidah...
BUt that is just me lah..haha...

OK... anyway im gonna miss mother tongue... its been a manditory part of life for years...
and years... 11 years to be exact... wow...
welll im not going to stop speaking.. im gonna continue improving... one day maybe i can speak it fluently like morier or someone else.. that aint malay but can communicate...
haha

Any way... i still miss ya.. but won't comtinue sayin it too muchh
Bye BYe... BE back soon...

[The Universe Moves On]

~No MAtter How Much I want it to Stop... the universe goes Moving On~

~gReG~

PS ART IS KILLING ME...

{/Wishes May SometimEs Never Come TrUe --

Friday, October 27, 2006 ( 9:24 PM )

my Last post to you is at my friendster... please go see it.. for me...

http://toloveistolose.blogs.friendster.com

COuld you please call me.. or sms me...oR Even EMAIL.... i just want to hear you tell me the answer...

If you feel its not meant to be.. then its not meant to be... i will understand.. i'm sorry to put you through all this pressure... but my heart and mind keeps telling me that your the one.. so..i need an answer...

i somehow think your avoiding me.. are u scared ... are u lost... or is it... that you are... just not interested to start a relationship with someone like me...

How do you see me.. ? i wish you would tell me... miss you soo much..

With all my heart.. enjoy your bdae if ur not ready to invite me ...
its ok.. i understand... it gets realli difficult to accept such things sometimes...
i hope ur enjoying ur present i gave you...

and i realli hope u realize that u are someone special to me..

stronger than the winds and brighter than the stars..
faster than the speed of any moving car...
i want to tell you something tucked into my heart...
i wish we could be one and never be apart...

i know that may be a dream ...
a dream that can't come true...
but i know its no dream...
that.. i love you..

~gReG~

{/Lepak2 mood --

Thursday, October 26, 2006 ( 9:39 PM )

I feel Like wanting to Lepak2 todae...

in the earlier part of the dae... i went to hafizah's hse...
the WHOLE ENTIRE CLASS was like dere la... wahaha...

except kenneth, joven, melvin and guo sheng.... haiz... sad... miss the entire group of 4 D.... with miss eng...

i called this pic .... the special class...

a special class of people and a special class above the rest....

really miss all the fun times... but it was definitely fun while it alll lasted.... =]

so anyway back to the present... i was at fizah's hse and had fun... i was waiter... practicing my skills to go back to delifrance.. wakakka... shafoooooo... plan to go back in november around 24th like dat...

den [aiyo alwaes going oit of point...giler sey ku] hahaa ... fiza mom cook a lot of nice chix... and we ate and beehoon and tarts and cookies and sambal and fishball... shiokn onli Sia.... phew... den we were like watchiong this reallii effed up show called... CHAI LAI aNGELS....

literally ...it was damn fudging funny..,.. i was like laughing tilll my tears came down and my stomach hurt... damn it im laughing my heart out rite now... wahahaha... gosh shit

akaspsafdogwsksdg

d[sgnasg

gss

ok sorry i got hysterical... okok... phew.... deep breaths... fooooooooo foooooooo..

okok... haha.. done... ok.. so after the crazy thailand spoofed version of CHarlie's Angels... we were each given a goddie bag from hafizah.... sooo cute seh.. small bag with lots of ol treats... hahah... i wont forget u fizzy.. wakaka... den afta that we took lotsa lotsa fotos... and... i don have any... wakaka... ok i know damn lame...

den i wann say that rose and kim are the greatest frens to ever have haha... two bitches and two nice personalities...wakaka. and thier moms.. like damn fuunny la... after fiza hse went to jalan2 with rose and dem ... we went to makan at food court... and den went backk...

i am sorry for ur lost gui.... :(...
a moment of silence please for gui's grandma's passing...

HUGS... don worry gui.. she is in a better place now... and remember ... she is allways there watching over you... and protecting you.. just like every grandma loves thier grandchild... ur not alone in this world...

ok... nak pergi la... i need to go do art...

Dear sayang,

i wonder if ur aware that im posting my feelings here for u to see... its ok if u're not .. but i sure wish you were... sigh*...

i wish i could undo every wrong ad turn everything backwards... and make things rite between us... i wish that i could be helping you get to the hospital when u were having ur appendix problems... i wish i could got to the dance floor and see you there working ur ass off to get to thru the auditioons...

If onli.. we were a true thing that existed... but i cant say 'we'... or 'us'... cox there is no 'we' or 'us'.. i dono now.. i jus wish... i wished you would call me... and we could talk ... and it would be like old times when we were all together and laughing and having good times... listening to de cafe music... and lipsyncing... and watching ur dances at the different venues.. and competitions... i would give anything to be with you... even my life... i said that before.. i remembber .. in my letter..

...I WISH....

you would just lie here ....

if i just lay here...

would you lie with me...

and just forget the world...

[living each day has been hard without you]

wishing .. upon every star...for u...

~gReG~

{/What a DAy... --

Wednesday, October 25, 2006 ( 11:36 PM )

Oh ok,.. i know muke sememek...( something like ... spastic expression)

i met my godparent todae...
my godmother...

haha... its been... i dono.. abt 8 to 9 years since i last saw her...
SHe moved away to lake tahoe in the US.. and den to TExas...
gosh she gained weight... hahha... but still got it...
MY GODMA RAWKS...

SHE IS soooo passionate... About everything she does...
I couldn't love her more....
Oso i miisss my godpa...
He's still inn prison for his Kidnapping offence....
but oh well ... he's an arist now u know...
he can draw like a pro... and damn...
HE CAN DRAW...

talk about O LEVEL... hahaha....
OH damn i wish i could go see him or smth in the US...
he crazy man,... he wanted to transfer here...
TRANSFER TO CHANGI PRISON... gosh... talk abt siao....
hahaha

i think he would die in s'pore prison...
HARSH police bastards....
wakakak... anywayZ...

lemme tell u wad happen todae..

i went to school last minute. after francisca msg me telling me that mr mak wanted to go thru the essay questions for biology paper...
so ok ..
i went to school and guess wad... i decided..
HEy im gonna get contacts... and wear em...
WAHKAKA...

so i did

and den mr mak and his bio class all busy doing some research thing so... ok la...
jalan2 all ard sch.. until giler .. den me and frans became bored so... we took foto la... haha
FRANS iS BLEARDY FOTO GENIC MAN.. see fro urself... below...

IM MACAM SLENG jEr.... hahaha..( NoRMaL la... )

Eh eh... hansem seh... wahahahaha... ok ok la... rite... hehe...

I like my blue eyes... very unreal... haha... duh they are ..anyway...after school i went to meet mum and my godma (debra) and godma sister (denise) ...as well as AUNTYY MOLIE... she is so hip and yet she's going to be 70... wowZa...

amazin la... makes u wonder whether will live that long to enjoy life ..hmmm.. hopefully...

so after met up i wen to pack my dinner = TeriYakI chicken... [ thinks of the tune to teriyaki boys ] from the Banquet kat... Woodlands causeway point...

den we took a bus to where aunty denise and godma were spending thier stay in s/pore... at UNcle roger's hse... gosh ... u know evryone i know is like a bloody eurasian... haha.. nvm... anyway... me uncle ralph (aunty molie hubby) and godma... mum, aunty molie and aunty denise were all on the bus.. when there was a stoopid accident...

A Giant heavy constructino vehicle HIT a Taxi./... BANG... crash and all the busses came to a halt... bloody shiot... we were in the bus stuck for like.... an hour or so... damn it... den finally uncle ralph went to ask the driver to let us off.. so we and the rest all got off adn walked on.. gosh when i saw the accident... it was like... :... hahaha okok... nvm ...

I CAN T BELIEVE THAT MY RELATIVES WHO PROOVE TO BE FOREIGNERS ... as they are now permanent resident in the US... are ... KIASU...

they purposely went to see the bus liscence amd the cabs liscence and the giant semi's liscence... and guess wad.. THEY WROTE IT DOWN TO BUY 4D... alamak... i embarrass like siao man... hahah... den we were allowed to get back on the other bus... which was so cool enuff to drive us in the opposite direction ... so we were like travelling in the opposite direction of traffic... so JAMES Bond'ish.. haha aden all the traffic stop for the bus and when the bus got back onto the main road then everything was ok... easy peasy lemon squeezy.... haha...

spent a long time at the apartment catching up with all the memories of godma and petting Snowwy the cute lil manje2 cat... haha... miss u u lil sweetie... wakaka...

okok den after that went down to have a drink with aunty denise and mum and went home..

NOw im typing all this down.. and thinking ... wad time am i gonna freakin close my eyes....

hahha....

but before i take a rest.. i just wanna talk abt u...

dear yang...

i dont know whether u do read my blogs or get hints form friends... but anyways... i just wanna say that wherever u are tonite.. im thinking of you.. haha i onli think of u on two occasions.. day and nite... and its true... i hope ur off collectin lots of duit raya and enjoyinh urself with dmax and gettign better everyday at whatever u guys do for dance and stuff...

MIss you lots.... and wish you all the best in everything you do my darling.. remember y-our alwaes in my heart.. and i know u might not feel the same way... but still i want u to know that there is always someone thinking abt u in this world and wondering.. is he safe.. and doing alrite...

one of those ppl is me... =]

take care...

~gReG~

PS I love u fadli.. i realli love u a lot....

{/MOrnIng BluES --

Friday, October 20, 2006 ( 8:36 AM )

Hey...

srry if i shocked u with the news... but don keep silent...
maybe u jus donno wad to say...
it must have been a shock to u...
well ...

tell me soon.. aite...

but lemme tell u the reason why i asked u...

i saw this local programme called shooting stars...
and the person on the show was scared about telling the person that she love him

THen her teacher told her...

Everyone has a song to sing...
u ... me... ur friends... ur parents...

Wad is this song.... its ur feelings...
the onli way to see if the person like u
is Telling him how u feel...singing him ur feelings...
if he enjoys ur song... then it is upp to him to tell u whether he like u

I cannot sing...
hehe...
but i can write my feeling down for u to truly see...
now i know why u tell me...

you onli believe the person true feeling come out when u talk to them on the phone or online....

well ... this is my true feeling ... for u... and u alone...

i don mean to be a bad person ...
im jux confused...
and need someone ...
SOmeone i can trust..
someone like u...

~gReg~

{/A new Skin.. A NEW HearRT --

Thursday, October 19, 2006 ( 11:48 PM )

YanG ...

I reAlli realli hope u read the blog i write about u...
if u HAvent just go down first and read it before u read this one... ok...

Meanwhile 2 all my frenZ out there here is my NEw Skin...
Like it?
do comment yea...

LastLY..

Todae science PApers was the easiest prac exam i've ever done... definitely can score...
Oh well... CopPer (II) ChLOriDe

my LAst WORds is for you Again...

FaDli...

IF i Lay here...
if i just lay here...
would u lie with me...
and JUx... FoRget THe WOrld...

I hope it can work out...
i hope u can tell me ur answer soon...
if its yes or no...
i will still care for u as my frenZ
And my heart wont change for u...
ever since that first day when u saw me ...
way back last year...
and tap me on my shoulder...
and u told me that you were gonna be working at the same delifrance...

Your name is drawn all over my heart...
it is sew into my heart with needle and thread...
your words are like the stars that guide me...
i will never forget you...

~gReG~

PS... I Have Been MIssing u for soo long.. hope to c u soon..

{/DarLing... --

( 12:08 AM )

Ok...

in my last post below i said i cant wait any longer....

My mistake...

i never wanna make things complicated for u...

haix read this and u'll c wad i mean...

Darling...

i wanna tell u that i jus don wanna make things difficult for u
I wanna help u but i cant
im not working ... and i cant earn...
I oso wanna see u independent ....

i wanna see u happy earning cox when u do ...
it may be difficult at first but when u earn,
U will understand satisfaction...
i want to onli help...
if u are reading this right now...
and u are feeling the feeling of " i cant read this"
i want to know from u
please 32354 tell me... tell me that u dont or that u cant be with me
my heart doesnt know that
everytime i hear ur voice my world jus stops
my heart beats faster..louder than my ears can hear...
i go to a corner away from everyone else and close my eyes when i talk to u oon the phone
i do this bcox i miss u
i miss being with u
i close my eye to imagine ur there
rite next to me talking in my face...

ARGHHHHHH... pls 32354...
DON leave me...
i need u...
and everyone around me knows how sad i've been single...
hmm...
my heart is heavy...
i try my best to help u out...
i wish u could help me...
help me.. to stop this voice in my head...
this voice keep telling me to say out that i love u
to ur face... but i cannot think wad to say

U remmeber that time i slip the leetter into ur bag...
i don realli care of u keep it or not...
but ... i wanted to knoe... what are the last few lines i wrote

THey were smthing like dis...
I WILL NEVER FORGET U...
not because u were my first...
or someone that made me feel special...
but u were someone who made me feel good abt myself..
u know wad motivates me everyday...
thinking of u...
when u speak... wad u say isfrom ur heart
when u smile...i know that it is true becox u smile when u are truly happy not a fake smile
when u cry.. u don cry for a while..u cry for a long time... like days or weeks... u cry inside also...
When u dance ... u dont do it for money or force to do it... u do it for passion and friendship...
when u love... and i mean when u truly love.... its not for money or for family....
its because u truly love that person...

my heart is what i want to give to u
my hands are wad i want to use to wipe ur tears away...
whenu shout at me... all i wanna do is listen to what u have to say...
when ur done i will say srry if i was wrong in the problem and hug u..
cox i never meant to make u feel angry...

i hope u realise this ....

i realli hope..

i love u ...

i will never forget u forever....

u may thiink im crazee becox i cant forget u..

and its ok... jus tell me ur views ok...

pls do call me one of this days... tell me

i realli realli realli want to knoe how u feel..

if u realli cannot love me back ....

i will do my best to accept it... and move on...

don be afraid to tell me... i wil not be angry or frustrated...

i will handle it...

PLease..

remember ...

even if u don love me.. i still care for u...32354...with all my heart

[I.... WE LOVE U....]

CAn u ever forgive me for all the bad things i did to u...

love ~gReG~

{/ --

Tuesday, October 17, 2006 ( 12:47 AM )

Hi ppl

Ok i havent been blogging for a while HUh...

here's de deal....

I have had my prelims and it seems that i can do much much better ... no doubt... im gonna try my hardest...

tomorrow... tuesday... 17 Oct is my Pure BiOlogy examination... now i'm no scietistor expert.. but i'm quite a good science boi... hehe... will strive...

And so on...

okok.... i recently went for a documentary ... welll ok.... i was the co-host for a documentary and my other co-host was Hida... hehe... we were definitely a one of a kind team... today i and here did some scene voiceovers.... and it was hilarious.. u see ... we did some interviews with some indian people to find out the culture of deepavali... and there were this two ppl... one of them a guy called mr Rau.... the other a Lady called Ms Rajis... hahhaa......

Since all the documented characters had to do voiceovers because of poor sound quality, there was no one to do the voiceovers for our other interviewed guest...and we sub-ed in... ahhahaa....

when Hida tried playing Ms Rajis part.. she started snorting... hahhaa... it was like a retarded pig..hahahhaahhahahaha... oh shit... OH ok ... den i tried.... AND AHHHHHHHHHH...

HAHAHAAHAHAHA

lets jux say we laughed so hard u could see our lungs flying out of our chest .. haha... i sounded like an old woman with a really bad stomach constipation and a bad indian accent... and the best part was.. when i recorded it, it was when mr Shafie wasnt there... and after he came back and heard it... HAAHAHA... he wentt hysterical with laughter himself... okok.... too much funny shit... will get the video out when its done.... ohk... =]

OK... so.... Hugsy to my darling cHrissy poo.... i know u miss the fags... we miss u too.. don worry we will be joining u guys soon... hehe after o levels lets all go out... and DIFFY ... u OWe ME A Kiss.. haahaha... kiddiN...

Seriously grey's anatomy is the best show EVvvvvvuuur... it really makes me cry everytime... gosh... soooo much emotion... and tragedy and SCaNDAL.... Gosh...its so heart stopping... literally...

DAnny DUcKett Died.. Jux like dat... i cried so hard... i was soo shocked...

oh well life goes on...tragically...

Ok i cant hold it in any longer...
for ...
about a year now...

i have been keeping this inside...
i cant

i cant animore...

i cant say i love you...
and i cant say that its lust either...
this is because...
if we broke up long ago and i still have a feeling for u...

den smthing is very wrong with me...
GOSh....

I dont want u to linger in my mind any longeer...

but what i want is ur company...
to know u better...
better than before...
to be there alwaes...
to hug and support you...
to wipe the tears out of ur eyes whenever u cry...
and to love u with each breath of life...

what i want is to love u ...
let me have that at least...
pls darling...

hmm alif... u know who it is...
rose too...

i jux hope he knows it too...

[...FamiLy...]

~'\ Definition of family = ppl that keep u in thier hearts and care for u...like bros and sis / '~

~gReG~

{/WHoooooopZ --

Saturday, October 07, 2006 ( 7:44 PM )

WeLl srry for not blogging for so long...

i've been procrastinating...

and i think i shan't spent much time on this entry too... i need to shower and finish up hmwk....

=[

Hey .. sacRifiCe mux be made For reWArd... smile =]

Soooooo anYWay... wSSup....

wads dat?

OH... haha.. yes... wazzup with me u ask?

welll nothingmuch realli... i got back my confirmed perlim results... and here they are...

EnGLISH -- A1
MAThS -- A1
SciEnce -- A1
Art -- A2
Biology -- A1
HumanITiEs -- A2
MALAY -- A1

....

....

....

OH C'MON.... I am so damn bloody sure that after u read my malay results u KNOW that is fake... hahah... okok... seriously the results for prelim are below....

ENGLISH = C5
MATHS = B4
SCIENCE = C6
ART = C6
BIOLOGY = C5
HUMANITIES = C6
MALAY = E8

As suCh, my score has become...

L1R4 = 26

L1R5 = 32

But...
AS i have an A2 grade for CCa... that is a bonus two points of my aggregate...

so as such the final prelim result is...

L1R4 = 24

L1R5 = 30

hahahaha... well anyway... that means that i can get thru some courses but i will be hindered... so as such... i need to heavily consider refurbishing my grades...

YEA >.<... as such... i need to carry on with improving mysef and doing better.. =[ but ... i will be worth it... I prOMise =] okok... getting too mushy...

Hmmm... nothing much that was interesting... last friday on 6 OCt i went with class to Nanyang Poly and went to tour the schools.... onli two schools piqued my interest... the design school and the media studies... but unfortnately... the aggregate needed for media studies are a deafening... 8 ...

8 FREAKING POINTS... DAMM.... ahhhhhhhhhhhh... oh well dat onli means Xtra effort and more concentration.. school has been a better experience for me ever since the new timetable... OH and.. I FINISHED MY ART... WeEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee finally after 6 BlooDY Long monThs OF HARD SHip... here it is...

Well there u go LovEs... the final piece... i dono about you but... after 6 months of hard work... i say... VoiLA.. enjoy the Emotions...

hehe...

and as such... fall in love my babies...

HHAAHhaAHa.. well anyway.. my friend is out of hospital and dancing again... i added his link to my blog... you can check it out when u guys are like blog hopping...

=].. i think i also have a surprise for him on his bdae... but shush... no one speak a word and don worry ... if he reads this ... he will jux be anxious.. am i rite? fadli... hahhaha....

anyway gd luck Dmax once again for MAkin it to dance floor and the upcoming performances... and happy bdae to ppl like KarnAn.. Mel.. and of course u fadli... hahhaha....

OKOK... gd luck to everyone in upcoming O's and thNX SOOO OOO OooooooOOOo... (this could go on forweVur)...OooooOOOo... (but it won't =]) much Mr ALIF ALWEE....from Now on u will have a place in my hall of fame... as my mentor/big brova... hahaa... ya know wad i mean ma Nigger... err... nvm... :P

thNx for the adVIce... i REALLi needed it... and CONGRATz to u and sIdek on making the Big HAlf YEar Mark in ur relatioNSHip... hope u don mind me stealling this foto.. hehe.... will get ur consent on msn later...

true Love begins with the heart... and after the start... lovers never part... as such good LuCk...

oh wad a gr8 week...

But alas me matey's this ship has docked at safe shores for its last time...

I am going to take my chances at rough seas and get a good result for O'levels and its not oNly for me... but for U guys too...

Thnx fro all the support... U've been a gerREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAt Audience...

thank you and good nite...

( ApplAuse )

OH C'mon can't i dream... smile =D....

[FriEnds may come and go BUt FRiENdsHIPS SAIL FOREVER]

GAWSH I LOOK FAT.... MUAHAHAHA...

~gReG~

{/Play at My HeartStrings --

... For A Better Feel ... With Me ...

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